Adventures In The Black, White and Blue Ranks

Now that I look back on it, NS is an unforgettable part of my life. A chunk of my time, spliced out from the routine pressures and pleasures of daily town life, far away from dear friends and family, free to explore a new side of me and interact with young people who come from vastly different backgrounds and life experiences. A toughening and softening period, a maturing process, meandering in open spaces of the training ground and the dark recesses of one own’s heart.

If I knew then what I knew now, how much I would have done differently!

Firstly, and most emphatically, I would not have taken up a leadership post in the first week. Besides it being the longest, most hurried, most pressurising and hectic week apart from family and friends that I have lived through, we were all so lost and uncertain of what was to come. We were just beginning to get to know each other, adapt to one another when I was thrust (okay, I took it on willingly) with the responsibility of 60 girls on my shoulders. Perhaps if I hadn’t screwed up so much then, I would have enjoyed NS more. As it were, often I was tortured by the thought that if I had not taken up that post before I was orientated with the mysterious workings of NS politics and schedule, I would have had a chance to progress much further in the hierarchy. And this is not just about power. It is about having the power to make a difference, to be a good example, to inspire others to reach their highest potential and foster teamwork. I could have been a better leader, I’m sure. But after the first week, I think I was just content to live it out, have fun, make the best of what I had - forgetting that pushing, challenging, bettering ourselves was the best part of the programme; and not thinking of the most ingenious ways to shirk work and responsibilities.

I don’t want to make the same mistake in my real life, in the here and now. Living with mediocrity: without risk, but also without excitement.

Secondly, I would have liked to mix with a different gang. Not that my gang was bad: I hung out mostly with the Chinese in my dorm. Just that I would like to have broken out of my self-enclosed pen a bit more. Though I did talk to many people who were different from me, we could have been so much closer had I just made the effort and not clung to the security of one group of people who would always remember me, save a seat for me, hurry me when we were late for class. One great advantage of having a gang of your own is someone to watch your back. But in doing so, I think I lost some opportunities to be the salt and light to someone else. Not that they would really have cared much to hear the gospel, in fact it’s illegal, but besides my usual code of morality I don’t think there was anything different about me. Nothing exceptional that they would remember long after we parted ways. What could I have done better, what could I have done to show them that I live for an awesome God who is so real to me?

One thing they might remember, I guess, is how I did my daily devotions at night, just before we went to sleep, most times under the blanket with my torchlight. There were only 2 Christians in my dorm of 30; the other is a devout Catholic who was asthmatic, overweight, often ill and frankly should not have been put through the NS programme. But I think NS did help her though, she became more confident, more independent throughout the programme and was certainly sad when we had to part.

Thirdly, I would have dismissed any notions about having silly crushes or liking anyone or things of that sort. It’s distracting and emotionally-wasteful. I did try to stop it but these things can be very persistent, slipping through the cracks in the wall of my mind. It’s not the simple act of liking someone that I dislike. Liking someone on a purely objective, logical basis due to his/her dazzlingness is fine with me. It’s the whole emotional roller-coaster: stomach-flipping if he even looks at me; the dead-like feeling when I find out he likes another (and another, and another-gossip is notoriously unreliable); the peeping-tom feeling when I find out someone else, a friend that I like and respect, also likes him; listening with full attention whenever someone mentions his name in passing in case I can find out even one more morsel of information; and the cruelest of all things, hope: it’s just so, so tiresome! And it never works!

Oh, and keeping my downright-unrealistic crush in mind, if I could have been any nicer to my crush-er, I would have been. After all, I understood what he felt. But I think I was nice enough. Hey offering to be good friends is a nice thing to do right?? Although of course it’s not what people want. But maybe thinking to myself, "I don’t want your own crush-er’s envious, I-hate-you-for-being-the-object-of-my-crush’s-affections, eyes on me all the time! Why can’t you just go like her she so obviously thinks the world of you, you two can go off and marry each other straight after NS and then I don’t have to be caught in the glancing-tug-of-war every night!" was not very charitable. It definitely provided my gang a lot of entertainment, watching the glance war and me, stuck in the middle of it.

Fourth, I would have relaxed a little more. Not despised a few people so much. I tried to love them, really I did. Give excuses for their unexcusable obnoxious behavior that affected and harmed all of us in the team. But the half-heartedness of that act turned on me and I really….hated them. I’m not a hate-people kind of person so I guess I didn’t think I would ever be like that. The thing is, people have amazing feelers. You can tell when someone dislikes you very much. And this group of people must have felt my dislike clearly, and even when I smiled there was no true happiness behind it. Perhaps it doesn’t matter what they did, that they made my friends, my dorm-mates cry, that they made every other company turn against us and snub us, that they nearly destroyed our team spirit with their arrogance and disrespectful behaviour. I guess it doesn’t matter that everyone else hated them too, some with all their guts. I shouldn’t have. Jesus wouldn’t have.

What would Jesus have done, trapped in NS, forced to see the same faces everyday, to work together with those people? I don’t know. But I know he would still have loved them.

Just shows me how far I have to go to become like him, I guess.

Fifth. I would have fully embraced the opportunity to get fit! Against my wishes, I did do a lot more physical exercise than I was used to and as a result, my body changed. I’m glad to say I still stand straight (most of the time)But otherwise, flab has colonised most of the muscle that I gained during NS. Again, let me tell you all, shirking does you no good! Just get out there and work your body to the max! Tiredness is only a roadblock on your path to success. Muscle fatigue? Rest a bit, then go back straight to it! Need…sleep…desperately…? Ah, don’t be a wimp! You can catch up on sleep the first year you’re dead!

Hehehe  Well, maybe not to that extent, but you get what I mean.

Alright, enough musing for now. Maybe in the next post I’ll elaborate on what I think I did correctly. And now, I shall move on with the times and do some real work. Bye ya!

Hmm…I’m wondering how to say this even though all my faithful readers probably have suspected the virus that I’ve caught recently that kept me from giving more updates.

  It’s called the "Dying Engine" virus. It works just like a beautiful car with so many hi-tech, cool gadgets and features; and your eyes sparkle with the possibilities for hours of blissful cruising, the envious glances you will get from passers-by, the skillful manouevering that your new car is capable of which will help you slither through any conceivable gap in a traffic jam. And even if you have to be stuck in a crawl for an hour, you’ll be as cool and unflustered as a Polo mint, because any excuse to spend more time with your baby is a joy.

  And then, after a few weeks, or months, or maybe even days, your beautiful car rots and dies. The engine sputters away, puffy smoke rising from beneath the hood, and you don’t know why…you bash your head against the pavement, not willing to accept that something that harboured so many of your dreams and hopes is ruined.

  Anyway, to get back to the topic, from what I notice a lot of blogs get the ‘dying engine’ virus. This blog has been STRUCK.

  What once started as a dazzling opportunity for a shocking, witty yet thoughtful account of my NS experience has become just another chore to do. Many days have passed since those few months in the sun, isolated from family and friends and given acne-inducing spicy food everyday. So many things have happened since and when I look back at my journal, it feels like I’m reading about another person. Someone who had to record down the minutiae (disregard the suspicious spelling) of everyday life there because she was like an outsider looking in on what was happening, not being able to fully immerse herself in the experience but always keeping a bit of herself apart. Because (this I believe) keeping a journal gives you a secret place, where you can write your true thoughts and emotions. That’s where the other bit lives.

But when I reread the entries, they sound boring even to me. The details that no one cares about, the sequence of events…everything temporal and inconsequential. And sadly, because it’s not the same me that wore the uniform that writes here now, it’s very hard to replicate the magnitude of the soaring highs and lows of emotion in each day. So, I realise sadly as I watch my car lose another wheel, writing an entry for each day I spent in NS is not going to work.

Maybe as I go on, I will write an entry or two, undated, about certain things I realised while in NS or interesting observations or funny events that I witnessed. Perhaps added with some further thought and comment as well. I will comb through my journal and see what morsels are good enough to serve to my desperate fans. So, goodbye to my old car…

And say hello to the new and improved "Five Star Wirawati". Perhaps this time, the tagline should be "Reflections of my Adventures in the Black, White and Blue Ranks". What do you think, dear readers? Somehow lacks the same oomph…must be the length.

And a new direction-

This blog is reflections on and words from a specific and rather memorable period in my life…

And this blog is about my life. Now.

Keep on going with me, friends! I’ll try to keep these (two!!!) cars running as long as I can…

just pray I don’t get hit by that virus again!!

With much fondness,

Fivestarwirawati.

6/1/2007

"Rest day, apparently but I still woke up pretty early-around 5am. The day was spent mostly preparing for our KKJ presentation that night. I also had to wash clothes, make a dorm list and take some much-needed rest. (Not very successful in the last). At around 6+ we were all so kelam and the group leader, P, was ordering people hither and thither to plan out the order of presenting. We were the only people to have a "uniform", which was our celoreng pants and sports shirt."

"HIGHLIGHTS: 1. WE WON! I didn’t think we would but in the end they liked us best! Male Alpha got 2nd and female Delta, 3rd so it was a clean Alpha sweep!:):)

2. No less delightful= the return of my hp! Albeit with very little bettery but still managed to sms my friends and parents. Sms-ed secretly (like everyone else) during the long boring talk about dunnowatcantremember that night"

7/7/2007

"2 important things: a) Parent’s visitation, b) church!"

  "Woke up the latest so far this week: around 6+am. However that was to my detriment becasue unknown to me, the Christians were supposed to meet at 0745. The announcement was made while I was happily showering so after that I rushed to the hall. I was pretty late (8+am) but there were later people than me. After that we went to 3 different churches. Gopeng Gospel Hall (Chinese), the Catholic Church (St Joseph’s -mix of Eng, Chinese and Tamil but mostly English), and the Anglican Church (Tamil and English. But mostly Tamil).We went to the Anglican service not knowing it was going to be in Tamil, actually. It was quite funny, all these Indian parishioners singing, and this one row of clean-pressed NS kiddos staring at each other in bewilderment. A few of us were Indians and could understand, but the rest…"

"After that we took to van back to ____. It was great to see the outdoors (and have air-cond) again, even if for a short while. The Anglican church was not bad, rather traditional and had a short and sweet message: about God separating the wheat from the tarns."

"Later on that day was parent’s visit! I had asked them to bring me lots of things like hangers, collared shirts and TOILET PAPER (most urgent). They also brought along pamphlets that they had gotten for me from an Education Fair. How nice huh? They came around 1+ and left at 5, the time that visiting ends. I had to give up my hp around the same time. Night time we had the changing of leaders which is when I handed in my pangkats. Phew!"

This was the first parents day that we had (there were 5 in total) and the most emo one. LOTS of outsiders came, the whole hall area was swarming with parents, uncles, aunties, grandmums, granddads, siblings, friends and boyfriends/girlfriends. Many families came bringing tiffin cans filled with food and drink and the whole family had lunch there. Such a Malaysian thing; mothers worried their kids don’t have enough to eat there or the food not being suitable, and thus bringing lots of home-cooked food to satisfy their poor starving children. Someone had a birthday cake and KFC.They left lots of rubbish after them as well, which we had to pick up. There were many tearful hugs and goodbyes, rcountings of the terrors and injustices of NS; bla bla bla. A boy who was tearing and used a hankerchief to wipe his tears was curiously noted by my father, who lamented his lack of manly stoicness. I told him not to be so harsh, perhaps the boy hadn’t ever left home before and was having trouble adjusting? (Later on I did meet that boy, he was a very quiet, ungregarious person.) Anyway, my father later retold the boy’s story enthusiastically and exaggeratedly, later on the story was that the boy was weeping into his father’s arms. 

Overall, it was a hectic week and I was glad my term of service was over and I could rest easy.

Today, I’m gonna indulge myself and post something very current and completely un-NS-related, because:

TODAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!

I just have to write this down somewhere, memory is a capricious thing and soon the sweet taste of this day will be just another page in the dusty book of my life, and I will never be able to remember it precisely again.

Anyhow, got lots of ‘happy birthday’ smses today, many from NS friends; from friends old and new-I treasure each and every one of them! I know some people may not see it as a big deal, after all it only takes a press of a button to send a message; but still, there is love and care shown in remembering someone’s birthday and greeting him/her. I feel it, anyway, and it’s a great feeling when there is one day where you are extra special, extra regarded by those you care for. 

Lazed the day away reading ‘Keturah and Lord Death’, my birthday present from my only and most beloved sibling. It’s superb, written in a lyrical, old fashioned style but still managing to be wryly funny. I felt very satisfied after reading it, my hunger for a fitting ending to the story completely met. (Though I guessed it! Even though the reviewer at the back cover said ‘Few will be able to guess how she finally ends the story’, I did!) Mummy baked a cake for me. It didn’t rise as much as usual so it’s a bit…squat. The chocolate coating drips onto the plate like a too-big blouse. But it still looks delicious (haven’t eaten it yet, but I’m sure it is…my mum’s cakes always are)

The highlight of the day came at night, when I went out to meet my schoolfriends. They had organised a get-together to 1)celebrate my birthday and that of another friends five days later, 2)just see each other again and have fun. So nice seeing them all again. There are so many shared memories and joys with schoolfriends that bond us together, so that when I see each other after some time, its still like no time has passed and I have the freedom to be my own, goofy self. And then be mercilessly teased by them (even on my birthday!)

But the highlight of highlights must be when I saw two of my closest friends, who had gone for studies in Australia, suddenly walk into the restaurant compound. I had no idea they were even back home. How do you describe that incredulous moment? So many emotions rolling over each other: shock and surprise, disbelief, and after all that a relief and overflowing gladness to see those remembered and dearly-missed faces once again. They shoudn’t be here, they can’t be here, THEY ARE HERE!

I am so maudlin today. But that is seriously what I felt. Some people say you never appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone. But today, when my friends came back without warning, I appreciated them all the more.

So, those were the highlights of my day. This has been a pretty perfect birthday for me: filled with love, family, friends, good food, good books and plenty of sleep. I can sense the start of a great 18th year to come.

P/S: Extra thoughts, while I’m at it:

My favourite part of ‘Keturah and Lord Death’ is this, when Keturah realises she loves Lord Death and decides to follow him into the endless forest:

  Lord Death came close to me. I could feel no heat from him, hear no breath in his lungs. He was utterly still beside me, but there was a strange comfort in that stillness. It was as if he had eternity to stand beside me, and forever to listen. There was no time or motion to disturb us.

  "And so there was no love for you?" he asked gently.

  "Tell me what it is like to die," I answered.

  He dismounted from his horse, looking at me strangely the whole while. "You experience something similar every day," he said softly. "It is as familiar to you as bread and butter."

  "Yes," I said. "It is like every night when I fall asleep."

  "No. It is like every morning when you wake up."

Isn’t that like a burst of light? I love that last part for its unexpectedness, it’s way of turning an old cliche upside down….and the truth behind it’s poetic words. Because for those who put their hope in Christ Jesus, death IS like waking up from a deep, dream-filled sleep; and seeing a perfect dawn, a perfect day for the first time. Leaving a tragically wrong world behind to wake up in His kingdom, to live forevermore. That’s a promise that fills me with wonder, expectation and hope.

(Day the 3rd continued)

"In the evening we had a briefing of KKJ-Kontrak Kita Janji. The eight company’s have to make their own flag, song, motto, objectives, methodologies?? (no one really knew how to explain this to us…another example of over-wordiness) etc. We were told that we had to present our group before everyone including the camp commandant that Saturday, and the best group would get a prize. Then afer that at night we had a mad hurried discussion to choose leaders for each of the small groups. SO I was running around pretty harried and not feeling on top of things. So now I’ve negotiated with my asst. company leader for her to become the group leader. I’ve had enough of all the running around."

Day the 4th (First day with afternoon physical sessions)

"First screw-up. Darn embarrassing. (A long and treacherous tale of how XX was misinformed about the laundry collection and told everyone to bring their laundry out before class to the hall and later found out that every other company had left theirs in their dorms and much shaking of heads and glaring from teachers WHEN IT WASN’T XX’s FAULT INSTRUCTIONS WERE NOT CLEAR and finally a peaceful solution was found and beginner’s forgiveness for screw-ups granted.) Afternoon had bleep test."

Explanation: It’s a test to measure how fit you are by how many cycles (point A to point B) you can run in a certain time (between the bleeps). The bleeps get FASTER AND FASTER. Example: Ran one round within the time gets you 1.0. Then the second round, 1.1. After 25 rounds, you call it quits or can’t reach the finishing line in time, so your score is about 2.7. For my reader’s information, the superior standard for our age group (15-19) for guys is over 11.0. The rating for sederhana (average) is 4.5 onwards, for girls.

"I got a score of 2.5. The best girl score was only 3.3 and even then it was a great and mighty effort, everyone was cheering her on. But seriously, we’re all very unfit. Also had first CB (Character Building, one of the modules) class with Cikgu T. At night, there was no teacher for kelas kerohanian so J led a group discussion. At first, all were very quiet but after a while the group warmed up and things went pretty well."

Day the 5th

"Had run in morning. Later on had CB class, then MARCHING. SO SO hot  (this represents my suffering not anger) in the baju celoreng (fatigues). But it wasn’t very strict and thank goodness we ended before very long. (I found out later that my camp was very, very relaxed when it came to marching and overall discipline. Unlike my friend’s more military style, HUP-HUP-we’re-gonna-toughen-ya-up, marching-mad camp. Compared to hers, mine was more like a 3-month-long socializing retreat, albeit with some other bothersome activities.) Then we had riadah which was a football match but it was mainly just kicking the ball around. Not following the rules. But I think I showed my frustration a little too obviously. (Actually, I don’t remember this incident anymore.) At night, kelas kerohanian again but somehow this time it wdidn’t work as well and people weren’t responding. We’re praying that God will send someone to teach us on kerohanian nights."

"HIGHLIGHTS: Got to tell my two friends about Jesus, just the day after I had prayed to God for a way to tell them about Him. The question now is, how to continue?"

Who would have guessed that it would be so taxing, even tiresome, to blog about myself? I can talk about myself all day, think about myself every waking moment wouldn’t any effort. But blogging….eesh….

Anyway, to spare you the tedium of another blog entry on the never-ending first week (it was about 215 years in emotional time though a measly 7 days in calendar time), I shall blog on one of the curious phenomena of NS life: The Suspended Moments.

This (trivial) epiphany came about when I was eating one of the usual spicy, repetitive meals during lunchtime in the stuffy and sweaty-people-smelling canteen. At that time I was alone, having just finished the Camp Elections where I served in the SPR(suruhanjaya pilihanraya-I still have the yellow SPR band!) As I cut up my food into spoon-sized portions and chewed my food mechanically, I suddenly realised that I WASN’T THINKING OF ANYTHING. There was no cerebral activity going on. I had so perfected the routine of NS life that I no longer had to think about it and thus, didn’t think at all.

I called the phenomenon ’suspended moments’, because suddenly you’d look at the clock and ten minutes had passed without notice. And also because there’s a feeling right after it like your brain’s suspended in mid-air; your mind went on autopilot and now you’ve taken the controls again. It’s a dizzying feeling. I suspected that my brain cells were wasting away in blasted _____.

As I ruminated on Suspended Moments later while shampoo-ing my hair, I reflected that I had many Suspended Moments in a day, usually when I was doing something with my hands that my mind needn’t concentrate on. I didn’t remember having these before I went to camp, usually because I had the freedom to plan my day and each day was a fresh, new beginning. Here, every day was a new, but slightly stale beginning much like the day before.

I had a prolonged Moment while I finished off showering, and only snapped back to earth when I went into the dorm and saw everyone throwing on their fatigues to go for the next activity. Arrrghh late!

If only I had known earlier…

But oh well. Yes, it’s true. If I had known earlier what a mess it would become, I’d never have taken the job. No amount of finger-pointing or elbow-nudging or hushed whispers would budge me, nosiree!

To get back to the beginning…

Night of second day, we had election for company leaders: 2 for each company (male and female A-D), a leader for wira, a leader for wirawati and a leader for everyone. It was a volunteering one so basically everyone looked at everyone else willing by force of glare that someone else would step forward. For my team, they focused their rays on me: or rather, the jurulatih did. And there was another Malay girl (whom I shall name Pat) who also stepped forward (more willingly) but I got the main job (by voting), and she was assistant. Fortunately, the post is only for one week because they rotate leaders. That way more people got the chance for ‘leadership’.

Jourmal extract:

"NEWSFLASH: They should give Toastmasters training to these commandant people. They commit all the crimes of bad public speaking: repeating oneself, mumbling, bad microphone use, stopping mid-sentence…"

"Being a leader, especially here when I don’t know anyone that well and I have to use BM so that everyone can understand me, is hard. Last night I had to inform them bout the rules for tomorrow morining and I just couldn’t get the words out. Even when I sple it was stammering because I couldn’t think properly. On the plus side I guess this will improve my confidence and public speaking skills. My assistant is pretty cooperative though I think she must’ve wanted the leader post herself. (She hadn’t shown her Dark Side yet.) O well."

Day 3:

"This morn was the earliest I have properly gotten up in my LIFE. 4.50 am. (Please gasp. Gasped? Thank you.) Actually, the lights went on around 4am. 4AM. Can you believe it? And these girls had slept, at the earliest, at 11.30pm the night before. I valiantly stuck to my principle of squeezing in as much sleep as possible but at 4.50 I decided to get up. Then it was a ‘cold!’ shower. There was so much shifting to do for my stuff because they had shown the night before how they wanted our lockers and bed to be kept. SPECIFICALLY. That kept me busy till  about 6.10am when I lined up the girls (with some Difficult people not yet ready) and left for the field. This is the 1st time I’ve seen it and there’s where all our physical activities are held."

"At the field it was another story…(basically, we learnt the drill for each day. Line up, report attendance, song and dance with bells till noon…okay not the last part. But we sing Negaraku and the Khidmat Negara song -I might put it up one of these days- and do the Rukunegara pledge. Then exercise but since it was our first real day, we were taken on a guided jog around the campsite. Highlight: one guy fainted and needed to be sent some where in the van.)…Maybe they’ll sell him? That’s a thought."

"I realised that standing at attention is quite tiring. We did it this morning and my back ached. Everyone’s did, proves none of us are fit, I guess. Then this morning I ate IN FRONT, facing the other trainees, at the ‘leaders’ tables’. It’s a bit weird cos I can’t sit and talk with my friends. Wonder if I’ll ever sit in the centre table (that’s for the 3 main camp leaders)? Hehe. We’ll see. But I won’t get my hopes high, must do this job well first."

Ok, enough for today, real life is intruding my thoughts and I’m tired. Till then, have a good day!

(Day 1 continued)

Night

We met the camp commandant for the 1st time and he gave a pep talk, the ‘you are so lucky to be a chosen one’ sorta thing. He also gave a Powerpoint presentation (seems like Powerpoint is used for everything around here) on our camp, the vision/mission of NS, waht they hope to achieve, and basically outlined the whole programme of 70 days and the do’s and don’ts. We only ended near 11pm and at that time some Kelantanese campers had just arrived.

Went back and slept around 11.30/12am.

2/1/07-Day 2

Although breakfast wasn’t till 7.30, was already woken at 5am when the Malay girls went to pray. Undaunted I stubbornly slept till 6.30am and then went to bathe (or rather, shower). The water is CHILLY and someone told me it’s from the lake just next to our girls’ dorms. I jumped a bit. My shower time is much shorter now.

Breakfast was bread with kaya and butter, mi goreng, egg and tea o’. Oh yea I forgot to mention the horrendous downpour yesterday night just as we were about to go from our dorms to dinner. We were stranded at the dorms until a good Samaritan came to our rescue with an umbrella. We got pretty wet all the same. The girl who came, I found out, is J, who is a missionary’s daughter. What’s more, her father is a missionary to the Orang Asli. Interesting yeah? Her faith is amazing, actually. When I asked her whether she thought we had 25 Christians in the camp or not (because if not apparently we don’t get a person to come for our kerohanian (sprirtuality) classes, whereas for Muslims, Buddhists and Hindus it is auto-provided), she said not to worry because GOd would provide someone (to teach us). Or if not, we could have our own Bible Study. I think that’s what we’ll probably do if we can’t have anyone come for us.

Back to the 2nd day. So then after breakfast we came around for the distribution of uniforms. There was a REALLY long process which ended up taking the whole day. Even though my group was the 1st to go (Alpha females indeed!) it still took about 2 hours. And the trip back to our place! SO long! There were so many things issued that it was really impossible to carry it on one’s own in one trip. (You be the judge-3 pairs of camouflage uniform with boots, belt, socks, beret; 2 pairs of class uniform with heeled shoes, socks, belt; 2 pairs of sports uniform with sports shoes and cap; 2 towels) Not to mention the 3+ minute walk back to the dorm under the scorching sun. Some ingenious people used the cardboard boxes to hold thier stuff but most of them (boxes, not people) fell apart anyway cause it was just too much. For my friend V and I we dropped our stuff several times and our hands were stretched as long as we could with stuff up to our chinn. THen we took a half-broken cardboard box and tried to jam our things in. After just a few steps it broke beyond repair anyway. Finally we inched our way back into the dorm like weary but triumphant soldiers, backs on fire.

I’M NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF PHYSICAL LABOUR…

Afternoon was a bit more interesting. Made a few more friends, with the people in my dorm. Lunck was chicken, white gravy veg and an apple. Called home after lunch. Oh shouldn’t have thought of that, my sis will be going back just about now! And I’m here in _____ and can’t see her off. Nevermind I know she knows I’m thinking of her right now.

"Well, here I am on the 1st day of my NS programme. I’m sitting in my dorm which has 30 single beds and a locker next to each one. There are 6 fans and 14 lights so the place is quite alright. It isn’t the civilization that I’m used to , but it isn’t exactly jungle trekking and camping either." (Which I had had a mental picture of what NS would be like.)

"Next to my dorm there are a few lines to hang my clothes and next to that is the washroom. In the washroom/bilik air are 2 rows of 4 cubicles each on both sides; one row are shower cubicles whereas the other are squatting toilets. The area in the middle is occupied by the kolah, a large squarish cement tank filled with water, why I don’t know, as if any girl would use that when there are shower cubicles. (Turns out later there were 2 Malay girls who always used the kolah, bathing with their sarongs on) No toilet paper! I should’ve brought my own. Never mind parents are allowed to visit every 1st and 3rd week. I can wait till then."

"I’m in dorm Alpha 4 (usually called 2, only called 4 when you include the Alpha wira’s dorms). There are 4 dorms for each company (2 wira, 2 wirawati) and four companys: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta. Each company is divided into Wira and Wirawati; eg. Alpha Wira and Alpha Wati. They purposely put people of different races together. However I think many people will still stick to their own race group, where they feel most comfortable. The Wirawati (female trainees) dorms are about 4 minutes walk away from the canteen/meeting hall. Why so far I say?! The guys’ ones are within sight of the canteen, just a hop away. Maybe they want to make sure we girls are well and truly isolated so no boy has an excuse to peep at some showering girl or steal her underwear drying under the sun."

"Right now I’m lying in the bad that I’ve Febreeze-d and laid my bedsheet on. The mattress was filthy when I came. (all yellowed and stained with hairs on it, urgh-it can’t possibly be only 3 years old) Think it can only be properly clean with vigorous washing so I scrubbed it with a dry brush and did my best. I’ve taken a bath (at one point a lizard crept into my door) with cold water, twas ok but I find washing my clothes tedious cos you have to bend over the cement surface constantly and wringing out the heavy wet clothing is taxing."

"How I got here-

-Woke up bout 8am and bathed. Went for breakfast (nasi lemak) and mum asked why I was eating Malay food when all I’ll be eating here is that. But oh well. Still enjoyed it. Got to the pick-up point (Stadium) about 9.15am and met my best friends who came to send me off. The place was really crowded with young people of all races holding buckets and saying goodbye to their families. Daddy insisted on taking some pics of me with my friends, the luggage, family, even with my friend’s brother!

-Got in the bus after registration at about 9.25am but we only left at 10.30+am. Waiting for some errant fella so we were the last bus to head to my camp (total buses:3). Quite a number of parents and non-NS people managed to sneak into the bus area despite the rule that parents were not allowed in.

-After we left, got out of the city and then across some town-y places into _____ (I was busy smsing and also looking out for cybercafes) then into a kampung terancang, then finally along a sandy path into my camp. My camp is something of a cop-out, adventure-wise. It’s pretty hot and barren with a couple of small mining-pools around - I think this area was probably filled so I don’t know how we’ll get to do any jungle activities. Apparently this is a more sedate camp. Well I guess I should be thankful for the dorms."

"For this afternoon we had -rice, ayam kicap pedas, taugeh cooked in white sauce, fish with taufoo and unsweet honeydew slices. The drink was teh o’, really sweet tea without milk. Ok am getting tired. Actually am still settling in so not sure how this place is gonna be yet. Good? Bad? Terrible? We’ll see." 

Program Latihan Khidmat Negara Kumpulan 1, Siri 4/2007 ended on March 11. Prisoner No.146, dressed in blue shirt, dark blue pants and shiny black heeled shoes a.k.a factory worker’s outfit, was released from the enclosure at 1100 hrs with a signature on her release form by a rather bored-looking commandant.

HOoRaY!

I did plan to blog that day, but was just too exhausted…had only slept about 3 hours the night before. And I do need my sleep, I really really do. It is one of my favourite pastimes though it’s a time-waster. Thus, I mostly slept away the Sunday.

And then Monday was D-day…the day when the all-important SPM results were to be announced. Just for my dear reader’s info, I got 10A1s and one A2. A2 is for that detestable subject, Pengetahuan Moral. Down with Moral! Immoral people rule this world, anyway! Look at the US! Haha. I’m not really that bitter, seriously. In fact I’m pretty happy cos I have never gotten an A1 in Physics before this.

So back to the present…I’m going to start from the very beginning of My National Service Adventure, and quote almost verbatim from my journal. Enjoy! And do please leave your comments and thoughts. I gobble them up!